Stronger than a Bullet
by rantandrumour
Summary: The first time he had brought out his ballistics jacket, she had rolled her eyes. Now she knew she should be thankful for it, but she can only curse it because it didn't do its job.


"Stay behind me Castle," Beckett whispered softly. They had almost gotten their suspect, a man wanted for the murder of two women. She smiled. The suspect was sitting in the booth with his back turned towards them. He would have nowhere to run. This was going to be easy.

""I still don't think he's our guy," Castle said doubtingly.

"Castle," she whispered, "all the evidence points to this man."

"Yeah, but if I was writing it…"

"But you're not writing it," she said sternly. "There's a difference between fiction and reality!"

He silenced behind her, the scolding smarting his pride. Beckett almost felt bad, but she knew that he would understand. She was under a lot of pressure to catch this man. Gates had been breathing down her neck for several days, threatening to keep her in, working longer hours, even though she had pulled several all-nighters on this case already.

Beckett looked down the street to where Ryan and Esposito were standing, their hands on their guns. They nodded to her, and she started to go in to arrest the man.

Suddenly there was the sound of a gunshot from behind her. Beckett felt an initial moment of panic, before she realized that she hadn't been hit in the chest again, and was okay. She sighed, relieved, when she heard a grunt from behind her.

Castle was on his knees, his right hand holding his left side. Bright red blood covered his fingers. His face was slack, but his eyes somehow still revealed his shock.

She grabbed her radio. "I need an ambulance on East 27th Street and Park Avenue. Civilian shot."

Castle was holding himself up on his left forearm. "Kate," he said, his voice betraying the pain he was in.

"Stay calm Castle," she said evenly, trying to hide the panic that was welling up within her. "You're going to be fine."

He smiled and coughed, blood flying from his lips. She felt some hit her cheek, but didn't wipe it away. "It hurts."

"It does." She didn't know what to say to him. She knew she had to keep him talking, but the panic was making it hard for her to string coherent sentences together. Esposito and Ryan were approaching now, their guns drawn, looking for the sniper. Beckett looked down at Castle. His eyes showed clearly the pain he was in, even though he was keeping his trademark smirk upon his face. She trailed her eyes down to the wound, where her hand covered his, putting pressure against it.

"Rifle bullet," he said, his words coming out sounding slightly choked.

"What?" she asked, too concerned about the wound in his stomach. He was bleeding out very quickly, even with the pressure applied to his abdomen.

"Had to've been…a…rifle bullet," he said through gritted teeth. "Pierced my…vest."

She realized now that he was wearing it. She remembered the first time she had seen it, back when she believed him the irritating nine-year-old.

"You aren't going to need it," she had said.

If only she knew where they would be in three years time. She supposed she was lucky now that he had had it, because if he hadn't, he would most certainly be dead by now.

Ryan and Esposito were next to her now, looking down at Castle in surprise and worry. Castle coughed again, flecks of red appearing on the corners of his mouth. In the corner of her eye, she saw Ryan shake his head sadly.

Castle's eyes closed, his breathing growing more erratic. She knew he was going into shock. "Castle. Castle, c'mon, talk to me."

His eyes fluttered open and he stared at her for a moment, as though he was confused. "Kate?" he whispered.

"That's right, Castle. You've got to keep talking to me, do you understand?"

He didn't say anything, merely staring at her. She felt her eyes starting to burn but blinked away the tears. Crying wouldn't help Castle. She had to keep him talking.

"Tell me about Alexis, Castle."

"She wassuset abou…abou…"

"About what Castle?"

"Stanfor," he slurred.

"She didn't get in, did she?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Dunno. Graes'r good. Great."

"They don't know what they're missing."

"No." His eyes were starting to close again. She started to panic. Damn it! Where was the ambulance?

"What about when she was little, Castle? What was she like?"

He smiled. It was a grim, almost scary smile. The whites of his teeth were covered in his blood. His lips looked almost like he had put on lipstick that morning.

"She was the smar…es…girl e'er. Al'ays to' o' 'er class. Al'ays more mature than…than me."

"It's not hard to be, Castle."

"Protect her," he said, his words suddenly shockingly clear.

Becket looked away from his wound to his face, surprised. He was staring at her, blood dripping down his concerned face.

"What?"

"I…want…_you_ to…tell her…w-what happened." She knew that each word was now a struggle to get out.

"Castle, you're not going to die!"

"Stop…lying…Kate." He said it with an authority that she'd never heard before.

"Castle, I need you to stay with me."

His breaths were getting fewer and farther between. "Promise…me…take care…Alexis."

"Stay with me Castle!" He couldn't die. He was going to be fine. She knew she was lying to herself, but she didn't care. She couldn't imagine how life would be without him by her side, irritating her on every single case she worked.

"Promise…" He coughed again, a rattling, painful cough, but kept eye contact with her. "Kate…"

"I promise," she said, noting that he had called her Kate more times in the past few minutes than he had in the past three years.

She heard sirens down the street. The ambulance was close, but unless they brought a helicopter, there was no way he would make it to a hospital.

His breaths were mere wheezes now. She could tell he was struggling even to get air into his lungs. Tears were falling freely down her face now. She didn't care about steeling herself. She didn't care if tears did nothing. She wanted Castle to stay with her, to recover from the bullet to the stomach like she did from the bullet to her heart.

For a moment, she saw the graveyard in front of her, and the roles reversed. She was lying on the ground, and Castle was over her, his face contorted with grief.

"_Kate. I love you. I love you Kate."_

Reality came spinning back as the memory faded. He was staring at her, his face full of pain and fear. Grief overwhelmed her as she thought about all the times they had spent together, all the missed chances that they had had. When he had rescued her from her apartment after it was blown up. Spending the night at his apartment. All those glasses of wine, all those cups of coffee amounted to nothing in the end, because she had been too scared to take the plunge.

_Screw it all_, she thought. These were going to be Richard Castle's final moments, and she didn't want to regret him never knowing how she felt.

"Rick," she murmured. "I love you."

The pain in his eyes turned to surprise and happiness for a split second before they went glassy and his body went limp. Someone started screaming on the street, a raw yell that Beckett was surprised to hear was her own.

She hugged his body to her, her face on his chest, his head lolling helplessly. "I'm sorry, Castle," she whispered. "I'm sorry."

Someone was pulling her away from him. She didn't struggle, letting herself be pulled up to her feet and away from the ambulance crew who were trying to restart his heart. Kate knew it was useless. He had lost too much blood.

She was being led to a car by Esposito. He sat her in the passenger seat and got in the driver's, Ryan climbing in the back.

"We got the bastard," Esposito said. "Thought you might like to know."

Kate stared out the window, acknowledging nothing. It was all over now. Castle was gone. Her partner was dead.

They arrived to the station, the atmosphere subdued. She was only going to collect her things. She had to go tell Martha and Alexis what had happened. However, she stopped when she saw the book on her desk.

The new Nikki Heat novel. He had left it there for her before they had left earlier. With shaking hands, she opened up the book. His last book. Tears started flowing anew as she read the dedication.

_To the fabulous K.B. Stronger than a bullet, and without whom, the songs wouldn't make sense._

**Rant**_  
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End file.
